May 14, 2008

To John Edwards, re Barack Obama:

Courtesy of Blogtopus:

Four more, in higher-res, here.

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May 13, 2008

From the Mail Bag

Re: “Certifiable Obamaniacs: Food Tasters for Obama“:

Name: wiznit
emailaddress: wizinit@—.com
Message: If you knew who Art Buchwald was, you would know that Food Tasters for Obama is pure political satire.

You missed the main point of the story, however:

“theObama food tent will be large, with room for everyone. “We are fully inclusive and are sure there will be meaningful roles to play for supporters of all dietary persuasions. That includes kosher and halal, veggie and vegan, gluten- or peanut-free, and any other kind of food allergy. In fact, Steve from Norman OK, one of our most ardent members, is a lactose-inolerant soy latte drinker who stays awake all night thinking about getting started. I told him to switch to decaf until he gets the call.”

For you, I suggest prune juice.

Gee, I guess you made a fool out of little old me, didn’tcha?

Land-o’-goshen, now, let’s see: Why in the world would I give any credence at all to such a silly idea as “Food Tasters for Obama”? ‘Cause I’m just one of those dumb ol’ wimmin-types fooled by another one-a them smart, edumacated Obama folks?

No; it’s because your idea of satire is reality to the most extreme lunatic fringe inhabiting ObamaWorld™.

With his nearly universally humor-impaired supporters losing sleep for months over Obama’s safety, not-so-veiled threats against Hillary (can you say “projection”?), constant regurgitation of right-wing lies about the Clintons (can you say “Vince Foster”?), unparalleled feverish devotion to their Savior (there’s a reason for the “cult” comparisons; see Jonestown), and after endless paranoid lunacy such as this disgusting filth (in response to the question, “Why would Hillary want to be the VP??”)…

Link to the cached thread

…which are only the most recent examples of this sort of thing I’ve seen, you convince me why would anyone put that kind of “thinking” past Camp Obama.

I’d like to tell you to consider it a compliment that your satire went over so well, but in truth, it fell flat because Obama martyrdom doesn’t sound like a joke at all; no one who’s paid attention to the True Believers this long would laugh it off, because the most deranged Obots are really saying this stuff, in all seriousness.

And how do you explain the fact that there really is a “Food Tasters for Obama” group awaiting approval on Obama’s site (still there as I write this)? If it’s a joke, it’s a pretty stupid one, as it makes Camp Obama look completely insane. (Doesn’t anyone over there have the good sense to scrub that page?) But it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to learn that someone who really believes all the KKKlintoons-Are-KKKillers lies was “inspired” by your satiric piece, and is ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for The Anointed One.

In any case, I must admit you have the makings to be a pretty fair satirist — that is, if you can knock off the mean-spiritedness (and learn to use a spellchecker). Take a lesson from your idol, Andy Borowitz: He never ruins his own punch line by insulting the reader. You had a receptive audience in me until the crack about “prune juice” — which, by the way, you can save for the Hillary-is-a-murderer whackjobs, who are the ones full of shit — and who’ll need it to wash down their daily dose of Haldol.

P.S. I read Art Buchwald. I loved Art Buchwald. Art Buchwald never insulted his readers, either.

Permalink  |  Trackback  |  Category: Barack Obama, Election 2008, Hillary Clinton

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May 12, 2008

From the Hate Mail Bag

Name: Angry Black Guy
emailaddress: marawls@—.com
Message: This is insanity.

When the majority of progressive and feminist leaders come out and support Obama in the general election, people like you will be exposed for the extremist that you are.

You look at McCain and Obama and your response is “give McCain the presidency because Obama is so evil”?

Insanity.

I have been reading blogs like this for 2 days now and I have yet to hear a clear explanation of what Obama has done to make him the most evil candidate ever (or whatever the latest term of endearment for him is).

Hillary lost. Get over it. Sore losers weren’t cool in grammar school and they are less cool in elections.

Grow up.

Where does one begin to pick apart your tired old arguments (and I’m using the word “arguments” generously), when the pickings are so ripe?

Your first dead-wrong assumption is that I’m voting for McCain. If you’d bothered to read anything else I’ve ever written, instead of hitting me with the usual reactionary “If you’re not for Obama, you’re for McCain” knee-jerk, you’d know I’d rather poke sharp sticks into my skull than vote for McCain. (You’re welcome for the visual.)

Didn’t you learn the meaning of dicto simpliciter in your freshman debate class? (You must be a college graduate, or on your way, since, after all, only smart, highly-educated people support Obama, right?)

Next: Your hyperbole undermines any shred of credibility you might have. Where did I ever say “Obama is so evil,” or that he is “the most evil candidate ever”? Putting words in other people’s mouths is not, to use a word that seems very important to you, “cool.” If you want to be taken seriously, you need to set fire to that fallacious little straw man of yours and bury his ashes, posthaste.

If — again — you had ever bothered to read anything I’ve written about Obama himself, instead of succumbing to the usual (uncontrollable?) reactionary spasm (that knee of yours must be ready to fly right off your leg with all that jerking) — it would be plain as day, even to you, that Obama has no concern for us pesky homos, and patronizes us only as much as he is absolutely forced to, so he doesn’t look like a complete homophobe.

I know your eyes will roll back in their sockets at the sight of the names McClurkin, Meeks, and Caldwell, but until the day you come to terms with the fact that homophobia is as real, as damaging, and as valid as racism (a tragic blind spot for nearly all Obama supporters), you will just never get it. You’re an Angry Black Guy? Well, I’m an Angry Lesbian.

I’m also an Angry Woman, who’s more than had it with the rampant sexism from the Obama camp (which the Obama camp adamantly refuses to acknowledge, much less remedy).

If you think Obama is so “transfromational,” or even “progressive,” then you and I are at a complete impasse. There’s nothing new or transformational about him; he’s no progressive, by any stretch of the imagination; he’s the same old DLC offering, only in a bright, shiny package. And his style of politicking is hardcore old-school — specifically, Chicago-style politics. The only thing new and fresh about him is his oratory skill — which crumbles the second he’s not working from a prepared speech.

Finally, your last line is hilarious — you illustrate perfectly one of my many complaints about Obama supporters:

“Hillary lost. Get over it. Sore losers weren’t cool in grammar school and they are less cool in elections.”

You think I give a damn about being “cool”? Maybe being “cool” is all-important to the “American Idol” generation, but my list of core values doesn’t include a slot for “being cool.” Let me check… economy, war, healthcare, that silly little business about getting equal rights… Nope, I don’t see “cool” anywhere on the list.

And thanks for the “get over it” — you illustrated, perfectly, the biggest point on the Obamaniac Behavior Cycle wheel. See what I mean about predictability?

One last thing: I find it heartbreaking that so many of you Obama supporters see this as a game to be won or lost. If there is a winner, there must be a loser, right? I guess that’s what they teach you guys in gym (”Crush that defense! Kill! Kill! Kill!”) while they’re teaching us girls to play nicely together, and make sure everybody goes home as happy as possible at the end of the day.

Silly me. I once thought that the goal of most Democrats was to craft an outcome as close as possible to “win-win.” Obviously, I was mistaken in that notion. For you New Democrats, it’s “We win! You lose! We’re great! You suck!”

Which brings us to the erroneous belief that Obama is going to be the “President for all people.” Hogwash. He is the candidate for young, college-educated, white-collar, Christian heterosexuals — and the rest of us can go pound salt.

I know this, because people like you tell me that every day.

But that’s a moot point now, isn’t it? Because you’ve also been telling me, since day one, that unless I bow down at the Altar of Obama, you don’t need me in your party anyway.

Oh, and by the way, vapid threats about being “exposed as an extremist” might have worked on me when I was a child, but you’re talking to a grown-up who went through far worse threats of “exposure” as a gay teenager — thirty years ago.

And chew on this: I heard the same thing I’m hearing from you — and received far more threatening messages — from the hardcore Bush lovers back in the early days of the Iraq War, when I was speaking out against him and his legions of “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” loyalists. Meanwhile, the “anti-American traitor!” slurs thrown at me then have just metamorphosed into “You’re not a REAL Democrat!” now. Same song, different band.

Intimidation doesn’t work anymore. I’ve been through it, and I’ve learned that unless I’m dealing with an obviously demented and potentially dangerous person (in which case I just forward everything to the FBI and let them handle it), it’s all just more playground bullying.

See, I am the grown-up here. You’re the one who needs to chill. While passion is a wonderful thing, unbridled rage directed at people you cannot strongarm into conforming to your beliefs and doing what you want them to do is something else entirely. It’s just not “cool.” (It’s also the trademark of the classic, textbook-case — and frustrated — religious fundamentalist. But I’ll return to the frightening similarities between Obamanation and the Radical Religious Right another day.)

One last thing: If you’re getting so hot under the collar after “reading blogs like this for 2 days now,” maybe it’s time you stopped reading these blogs. You’re going to need all your energy to defend Obama once the Republicans go to work on him. Besides, we little non-Obamanauts are nothing but fly specks in the course of the Obama Cosmos — I know, because you keep telling us that, too.

Now, you go back to your echo chamber, wherever that is, and complain to your friends about the lesbian who was just too stupid, unreasonable, hysterical, and “insane” (that’s your word) to drink the Kool-Aid.

Playground bullies are not welcome here.

Permalink  |  Trackback  |  Category: Barack Obama, Donnie McClurkin, Election 2008, Homophobia, John McCain, Radical Religious Right, Random Stupidity, Women

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May 11, 2008

Obama Supporters: Do you have any idea how predictable you’ve become? (P.S. Nobody’s buying your latest nicey-poo ploy.)

Notice something? For about three days after his supporters declared Barack Obama the “presumptive nominee” (the DNC didn’t; Obama himself didn’t; his supporters did), the constant bashing of us non-believers and calls to banish us (and Hillary) from the Democratic Party (and maybe even the planet), forever, suddenly subsided, to be replaced by sickeningly cloying calls for “unity” and “graciousness,” ’cause, after all, “we’re all Democrats.”

This, non-believers, is how stupid the Obamabots really think we are.

It was as if The Big Giant Head at Obama Central texted new marching orders to the cell phones (or perhaps directly into the brain-chip implants) of all Obamaniacs simultaneously, and that message went something like this: “OMFG REDID DA MATH: WE FD UP. 86 OPERATION HRC BASH IMMED PROCEED W/OPERATION MAKE NICEY NICE ASAYGT. ACK.”

All of a sudden, Obama supporters everywhere — on once-Democratic message boards (now exclusively Obama Outposts), and on their own blogs, and as they infiltrate pro-Clinton blogs — responded, Pavlov-like, as if a switch had been pulled.

I’m glad to see I’m not the only one to notice this. Curious to learn the extent of this phenomenon, I went surfing through dozens of non-Obama blogs and message boards (I don’t call them all “pro-Hillary,” as those of us immune to the Twu-Bewiever Kool-Aid are not all necessarily Hillary supporters; many of us just see Obama for what he really is, and our blood runs cold at the thought of leaving our nation in his most incapable hands), and found: It’s everywhere.

…Which knocks on its ass the repeated claims of Obamaites who swear that their message boards and the like are somehow unique, and do not reflect the rest of the Intertubeosphere, let alone the real world. Of course, these are the same people who swore that nobody was paying attention to Donnie McClurkin, and that the Jeremiah Wright dust-up would never do a lick of damage to Saint Barry the Invincible.

…Which tells you that many Obamaniacs either don’t get out much, or simply prefer to spend all their time parroting one another’s talking points in their own little echo chambers — from which they’ve run off the vast majority of non-Obamaniacs, which in turn makes it appear as though the world is composed of nothing but Obamaniacs. Which is why they get so crazy when they’re exposed to even one of the tens of millions of non-believers, like me. But we’ll talk about cognitive dissonance again another day.

What’s so funny (or would be, if it weren’t so pathetic) is how predictable they’ve become. The pattern to their singleminded behavior is painfully obvious. In fact, I’ve created a handy little chart (which you’ll find below) that you can print out, put in your pocket, and refer to the next time Team Obamanation suddenly switches gears, and you find yourself sputtering: “B-b-b-but-but… But that’s not what they were saying yesterday!”

The sweetness-and-light never lasts for long, of course; Obamaniacs aren’t very good actors. But they still delude themselves into believing that no matter how badly they behave, a saccahrine-sweet “I love you, Mom!” will get them off the hook.

Sugar, I think, puts it best:

Hillary Keeps On Pushing and In the Meantime…

The Obama thugs have fanned out over the blogosphere to try to sway Clinton supporters over to the dark side — even before the final votes have been cast and ahead of the thrashing he is set to receive in West Virginia. The really funny thing is that they start out trying to be nice and sweet, but that assholishness and that bullying nature just can’t be subdued for so long. Notice the way their comments on various blogs start out sounding somewhat peaceful and then BAM!, they hit you with an insult like, “I’m hoping that you guys will come to your senses.” What I’d like to know is, how is it that we, the ones supporting the candidate with the best chance of beating John McCain in the general, are the ones who need to come to our senses?

All of this talk about Obama “considering” offering Hillary the VP slot should he be named the party’s nominee is yet another attempt to make peace [because they know they would need our votes] after they have done all they can to crush and demoralize us is appalling. And, let the f—ing record show, when I started out writing about the campaign here at this site, it was only about why I supported Hillary and why I didn’t think Obama was ready. No “name calling” or any of that. Just my opinions about his electability, based upon information that I’d already found. Those early posts were met by wild rants from commenters telling me that I was afraid for a Black man to win, I was selling out, I was foolish to think that Hillary could win and the list goes on and on. I’m not one to sit back and let anyone talk to me any kind of way, so quite naturally I defended myself and in doing so only drew more intense criticism from commenters here. Not to mention what I’ve received from my own family and friends.

I’m not the only one who has experienced any of this stuff. Nearly any person who supports Hillary Clinton has dealt with this bullying from the Obama thugs in one way or another. When I ventured out into the blogosphere only to see that countless blogs were Anti-Hillary, and of course when I got wind of and actually viewed Michelle Oballbuster’s highly insulting remark to the tune of African-Americans who are not supporting her husband are psychologically damaged — well, what else was a girl to do? …

I can only speak for myself, but let me repeat, if he gets that nomination, I will not be voting for Barack Hussein Obama under any circumstances. I don’t care if Hillary, Oprah or Denzel Washington is his running mate. It ain’t gonna happen. He and his band of thugs should have considered the vile way they’ve treated so many of Hillary’s supporters. They were so caught up in those creepy chants and such that they lost sight of the ultimate goal — the general election.

I’m hoping and praying that the voters in West Virginia truly clean his clock and let him know what time it really is next week, so that if the DNC hands him that nomination, they won’t be able to claim that they didn’t know. …

So, you see, non-Obama-worshippers, it’s not you — it’s them. And, really, it’s all quite predictable:

Click to enlarge

(Yes, of course, feel free to download and post to your own blog provided you leave it as is. A link back would be very much appreciated, too!)

Below are just a few of the many good folks who aren’t buying the latest transparent suck-up attempt either (and all are well worth the click and the full read, including reader comments; in fact, you’ll be buoyed by the presence of so many non-Twu-Bewievers who are fed up, and refuse to lie back and take it up the, er, nose any longer):

What’s Democracy Got to Do With It?
Liberal Rapture

Let Me Explain to Obamazoids Why We Don’t Care To Hear From You
No Quarter

Why I will not vote for Obama even if he’s the nominee — and why you shouldn’t either
Reclusive Leftist

What is going on with the “party?”
Angry for a Reason

Why Clinton supporters are turned off by Obama
1st Republic 14th Star

Permalink  |  Trackback  |  Category: Barack Obama, Democrats, Election 2008

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Certifiable Obamaniacs: Food Tasters for Obama

If I hadn’t seen this with my own eyes on the official Obama site, I wouldn’t have believed it (which is why I screen-capped it; if the Obama people have any sense left at all, they’ll scrub this page faster than you can say “Tony Rezko”):

In a post that reads like an Onion article, a pro-Obama blog reports:

Tuesday’s primaries made Barack Obama the “presumptive nominee”. Now there is increasing speculation that Hillary Clinton will be his running mate. But some pundits warn that Obama better watch his back should Hillary become his Vice President. Concern was heightened after Bill Clinton recently invited Barack Obama for tea with some of Vladimir Putin’s “associates” at New York’s famous Russian Tea Room.

The danger of having the Clintons, who know their way around the White House kitchen, too close for comfort has motivated some Obama supporters to launch a new group seeking to protect their candidate from any close encounters with a bad oyster. Die-hard Obama supporters now have the opportunity to serve and make the ultimate sacrifice by joining Food Tasters for Obama, which is awaiting approval from site administrators at MyBarackObama.com (they are apparently worried that the group will be cast by the media as some sort of weird suicide cult).

“Some some of weird suicide cult”? How about just “off da hook crazy”?

Come to think of it, I’ve seen Obama supporters, in their compulsive poo-flinging, demonstrating fervent belief in those oldie-but-goody right-wing tales of Hillary murdering Vince Foster (I think the current version of the story ends with: “…right after she had Ron Brown’s love child”), so I guess imagining Hillary padding into the White House kitchen to slip cyanide into the tomato bisque isn’t too far a stretch for some of these folks.

While the piece might be parody (the author bills himself as “a registered Fan of Andy Borowitz at the Huffington Post”), the fact remains that there is a Food Tasters for Obama group awaiting approval on Obama’s site.

That’s…

Permalink  |  Trackback  |  Category: Barack Obama, Election 2008, Hillary Clinton, Random Stupidity

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May 10, 2008

Obamabot Bingo!

Courtesy of Red Queen:

Click to enlarge!

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If you still don’t understand how the Democratic Party is destroying itself, Anglachel explains it all for you.

If you read nothing else today, read Anglachel’s brilliant “Revolution of the Saints.” Excerpts don’t begin to do it justice, so I hope this will whet your appetite and compel you to click the link and read it in full — along with several dozen of the most thoughtful, intelligent comments I’ve ever seen on any blog:

I watch the mass psychosis that has overtaken half of my party and I am left stupefied. While I have had a cynical view of the netroots for several years, what I see now so thoroughly surpasses the worst I had imagined that I am struggling to come up with ways to comprehend the dissolution of what should have been a solidly unified party.

. . .

I reach for religious language and examples to explain this, even as a large number of this contingent are functional atheists. At its root, we are looking at the separatism inherent in much Protestant political thought and causes. Instead of confronting difference and coming to an accord, the saints wish to banish the fallen from the world and thus make the world more perfect.

There is a religious element to the Obama campaign, and it takes the form of distinguishing oneself from the fallen political world. … From this campaign we have literally heard language of “coming to Obama” and of having faith in the One. There was never much attempt to persuade voters to support the candidate and less with each day that passes. We are exhorted to simply acknowledge truth and surrender to this leader. … It is charisma in the oldest sense of following a leader because he has been anointed. This is not simply or merely cynical posturing. This campaign’s followers really believe that there is nothing more needed than to be faithful to the messianic leader.

. . .

The political “base” is seen as base — low, uncouth, adulterated, impure, unworthy. They are not among the saved and the saints. I honestly cannot remember a previous time when so many people in the party were reviled for doing nothing except vote for a conventional candidate. These are not Naderites or Wallace supporters. They are middle-of-the-road solid Democrats who voted Kerry, Gore, Clinton, Clinton, Dukakis, Mondale, Carter, Carter, and so on down the line. The contempt of the saints for the fallen has always been there, but is emerging without a filter or much in the way of self-consciousness this time. … I read claims of being rid of the old evil “white working class” … in a final conflict to end all conflicts and there will be a purified party to which will flock millions of new, young, untainted followers, ready to be led into the land of Goshen.

. . .

The concrete has no place in Obama’s campaign narrative. Speaking too much about material benefit pulls you down into the weeds and you are no longer shiny and new and unifying. You take on interests which incur expectations and interfere with the abstract pursuit of the ideal, a government cleansed of politics, run according to bipartisan, technocratic and efficient methods. Kind of like the 50s, but without all that civil rights and women’s rights stuff.

. . .

Those who say “Show me what you’ve got,” are reviled as racist, stupid, retrograde, besmirched and fallen. We don’t need no stinkin’ working class! We will get new and shiny young voters to replace you, untouched by your peculiar love of solid wages, health care and Hillary. Why would the Democrats want to cast off the heart and soul of the New Deal coalition? Where does the animus come from? These people are acting out a separatist fantasy and make up one half of Obama’s support. …

. . .

H/T to The Real Spiel

Permalink  |  Trackback  |  Category: Barack Obama, Democrats, Election 2008, Hillary Clinton

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