June 6, 2009

Eeek! Surround By Pagans! Eeek!

As the Anti-Gays continue to flog the crumbling, dysfunctional marriage between the Evangelical Wrong and that decaying corpse of an elephant called the Republican Party (why, yes, that would be necrophilia), head corpse-flogger and altogether unpleasant little troll Newt Gingrich pulled a new one out of his chubby chipmunk cheeks: the threat of paganism to the ever-increasingly larger wall between church and state.

If only; a spell cast to turn Newt back into his original incarnation as something small and slimy living under a rock would be most welcome.

Huckabee, Gingrich urge political
engagement in Va. Beach

… They and other speakers warned about the continuing availability of abortion, the spread of gay rights, and attempts to remove religion from American public life and school history books. …

The two were among several speakers, including former U.S. Senate candidate Oliver North, at the three-hour “Rediscovering God in America” event. …

Much more farknobbery at the link.

When contacted for comment, God remarked: “Newt’s serial adultery and three divorces don’t bother Me half so much as the idea some people still insist on believing in ‘Intelligent Design’. I mean, do you think any omnipotent being would have designed Newt Gingrich on purpose?

“Look, I make mistakes. The appendix was a dumb idea that came up after a bunch of us spent the night tossing back shots. Making Michelle Duggar so fertile was the result of somebody hitting my elbow when I was pouring out eggs. And Rush Limbaugh— well, I only meant to create the anal cysts, not the disgusting loudmouth attached to them. I’d been working a long millennium, and I wasn’t as alert as I should have been. Sorry.”

Posted by: Sapphocrat

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