May 11, 2009

Obligatory Miss California Carrie Prejean Idiocy of the Day, With Extra-Crunchy Satanic Goodness (And the Voices in Carrie’s Head)

Who’s missing from this PSA?

Much, much more (including the part about Satan) after the jump.

Boring stuff out of the way first: Yes, TheDirty.com has posted the third of six promised nudie shots (and this one is pretty much the same as the first two), as well as some old pics of The Booty Queen with (as HuffPo calls him) “alleged hookup” and Olympian Michael Phelps (which explains to us his hitting the bong; one would have to be thoroughly baked to withstand even five minutes of the inane babbling of Carrie “I don’t have the answers to everything, you know, in the world out there” Prejean).

Now, on to the far more interesting stuff:

Tomorrow is D (for Dethroning) Day for Little Miss Jugs for Jesus. A news conference is scheduled Tuesday, during which Donald Trump (who owns everything, including the Miss Universe Organization) is expected to announce whether or not Prejean will be stripped of her crown.

The odds look good. This morning, Miss California pageant directors Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler held their own presser (watch it at TMZ).

Lewis, recounts Lez Get Real…

…started the news conference by saying that Carrie Prejean did not lose the Miss USA pageant because of her answer to Perez Hilton’s question about gay marriage. Lewis noted that Prejean scored third in the swimsuit category, and second in evening gown; and that her answer to Hilton’s question “didn’t provide anough edge to win.”

The Donald — who defended Prejean’s anti-bigotry with made-up numbers (”[Prejean’s stance is] the belief of 70 percent of the people, so it wasn’t a horrible answer,” the misguided bazillionaire told “The View” last week) — concurs: “We went back and added up the scores, and she would not have won anyway.”

Lewis went on to say that they do not condone the attacks on Prejean and that the scrutiny she has been subjected to is unfair.

Well, that’s a laugh and a half, Keith, considering how you yourself have been a major source of said scrutiny over the past three weeks. Not, mind you, that we don’t appreciate your insights, but take some responsibility, man!

Shanna Moakler included that Carrie Prejean’s semi-nude photo’s [sic] were not the issue, rather the non-disclosure of the existence of the photos when she entered the pageant in the first place.

Moakler stated that Prejean, like all pageant contestants, was given document asking for full disclosure which is not cause for dismissal but which does determine eligibility. Moaklers [sic] stated that because Prejean did not fully disclose everything in her application she entered the pagaent [sic] under false pretenses.

Furthermore, notes ABC News:

[The 12-page contract all contestants are required to sign before the November state contest] prohibits whoever holds the title of Miss California from making personal appearances, granting interviews or making commercials without permission from pageant officials and gives the pageant’s directors the right to revoke her crown for breaching any of the document’s provisions.

If you’d like a gander at all the sections of the contract Prejean has allegedly (*giggle*) violated, here’s a seven-page PDF file full of ‘em.

Continues Lez Get Real:

Moakler went on to mention that Prejean has conducted appearances and other projects such as a recent telemarkting [sic] message “for marriage” while missing appearances and making herself unavailable to the Miss California USA project.

Whoa, back that truck up: “recent telemarketing message ‘for marriage’”?

Yes, indeedy. Aside from NOM’s hilarious “No Offense” ad starring everybody’s favorite new little shat-upon Christian martyr, it seems Prejean recorded a robocall message for NOM drumming up signatures for an anti-marriage equality petition (and money for NOM, of course).

(Hey, whatever happened to Prejean’s dedication to working with special-needs children? Guess there’s not enough money or notoriety in, you know, like, actually doing some good in the world, as opposed to spreading bigotry.)

Keith Lewis made a powerful statement addressing those organizations and then Maggie Gallagher directly. …

He shamed them for taking advantage of Prejean and exploiting her to further their agenda, while putting her into a firestorm unprepared and positioning her to lose her crown.

Then they ran the new Miss California ad (embedded at the top of this post), “I Believe,” from which Prejean is conspicuously absent.

After showing the PSA, Miss California USA runner-up Tami Farrell was announced as the Beauty California Ambassador and appointed as the Miss California “alternate”.

So, we’re laying money (or would be, if we had any money and a sucker willing to take the bet) that Miss California will become Miss Disgraced Ex-California tomorrow.

Lies, lies, lies: You remember how Miss Carrie claimed there was only one nude photo of her taken? (”There are no other photos of me. This was the only one I took.”) And then, oops, maybe there was more than one… but, but, but she was only a teenager when they were taken (no matter how plastic-y her boobage looked in the photos)!

Prejean’s publicist, Melany Ethridge, gave TMZ a statement on May 4th:

“This was a photo that was taken several years ago, when Carrie first started modeling. In her naivete, an agent convinced her to pose for this photo to submit to a lingerie company, claiming they could make her the next Victoria’s Secret model. She has since learned what a lie that was, and what a mistake it was to have the photo taken.”

A short time later, we got a second statement: “Is there any allowance for the fact that she was a minor when the photo was taken, that would allow you not to post? She was only 17.”

We had our doubts … especially when comparing the photos to photos of Carrie at the Miss California Teen USA pageant in 2004, a few months before her 18th birthday. But we just got a handwritten statement from Carrie herself, and she’s towing the line: “The photo in question was taken when I was a minor, several months before the 2005 pageant. The photo was not meant for disclosure to the general public.”

“But apparently,” notes celebuzz dryly, “that was somewhere outside the realm of veracity.”

TMZ again, this time asking, “Who’s the Boob Now?“:

Those topless photos of Miss USA California Carrie Prejean were taken after she turned 18, according to one of her former pageant sponsors. This contradicts Carrie’s position that she posed for the pics when she was only 17.

We obtained an email sent by the sponsor (we were asked not to use his name) and he says Carrie sent him one of the topless photos after January 6, 2009, asking “if she was in good enough shape for the Miss USA Pageant.” The date is significant, because that’s the day Carrie got a boob job. The former sponsor says the pic was post boob job and she was well over 18.

TMZ obtained 4 topless photos a week ago. Her rep contacted us and said Carrie’s position was that she was naive at the time she posed. Then we got a second email stating she was only 17. As a result we did not publish the photos. But the sponsor says he’s positive they were taken when Carrie was a full-grown adult.

But then, Miss Carrie has already demonstrated she plays fast and loose with the truth (and, in the spirit of generosity, but mainly to avoid a lawsuit, we’ll add: “…or she has a pitifully bad memory”). To (dim)wit, as recounted by ABC News:

In the days [after the pageant], Prejean attempted to quell criticism of her marriage views by saying that her sister is a gay activist.

“My sister is a second lieutenant in the Air Force and she is a gay rights activist,” Prejean told “Access Hollywood” … adding that Christina is not gay. “She supports gay people, she supports gay marriage. My beliefs have nothing to do with my sister or my mom, or whatever.”

Christina Prejean admitted she was surprised to hear the beauty queen call her a gay activist.

“I have never even given myself that title. I was kind of surprised that she mentioned it, but I think she wanted to get the point across that our family is tolerant,” Christina Prejean said, adding that she only recently got involved in gay rights activism.

“A couple weeks back, I attended a public forum in Idaho about protecting the LGBT community against discrimination,” she continued. “That was the very first thing I attended, and I told her about it on the night of the pageant…”

Finally, our favorite Carrie Prejean item of the day: It was Satan! Satan, I tell you!

Carrie Prejean: ‘Satan Was Trying To Tempt Me’…

As Miss California Carrie Prejean’s fate is being decided by Miss USA pageant owner Donald Trump, who has called a Tuesday morning press conference, she’s keeping busy talking James Dobson about how Satan tried to tempt her with a question about gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant.

She is a guest Monday and Tuesday on “Focus on the Famiy”…

An exchange with Dobson:

Dobson: Why did you give the answer you did with regard to the affirmation of marriage?

Prejean: … I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart saying, “Do not compromise this. You need to stand up for me and you need to share with all these people . . . you need to witness to them and you need to show that you’re not willing to compromise that for this title of Miss USA.”

And I knew right here that it wasn’t about winning. It was about being true to my convictions. …

“So she’s calling Perez Hilton Satan,” I remark to my lovely wife after reading this aloud. “Whether that’s debatable or not, she just shot to hell all her whining about Perez calling her a ‘dumb bitch.’ Which is worse to these christers — being called a ‘dumb bitch,’ or being called ‘Satan’?”

“She says she’s not bigoted,” replies Buffy between bites of cottage cheese, “and yet she’s calling gay people satanic.

“No offense to Satanists,” she adds, “or to Satan, who is far preferable to the Triple-R-W god.”

Did I miss anything today? Oh, yes — only that Faux “News” actually published something useful today for those of us tracking The Long, Sordid Tale of the Self-Righteous Anti-Gay Activist Who Got Caught With Her Pants Off (And Only Her Panties On): a Timeline of the Carrie Prejean Controversy.

Posted by: Sapphocrat

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