March 11, 2009

Memo to the Department of Homeland Security: We Respectfully Request You Break Down Chuck Norris’ Door and Haul Him Away As Soon As Possible, Before He Kills One of Us

Dear Defenders of the Rest of Us Against People Who Do Not Have the Best Interests of the United States in Mind:

Please do something about this lunatic — who is calling for an overthrow of the U.S. government, leading a secession movement, demanding that our men and women in uniform commit treason (literally), and provoking a frenzy of violence from the sort of radical right-wingers who aren’t all that stable in the first place:

Chuck Norris claims thousands of right wing
cell groups exist and will rebel
against U.S. government

The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

He continues; calling on a second American Revolution; “…we’ve bastardized the First Amendment, reinterpreted America’s religious history and secularized our society until we ooze skepticism and circumvent religion on every level of public and private life. …”

Norris claims that; “Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation.” The right wing cells will meet during a live telecast, “We Surround Them,” on Friday March 13 at 5 p.m. …

DHS agents, you’ve got a bona fide budding domestic terrorist on your hands. Will you kindly protect the rest of us from this whackjob before one of his minions really goes off the deep end and starts taking pot shots from a bell tower? Or worse?

Posted by: Sapphocrat

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