May 1, 2008
Warren W. Bigley, self-proclaimed (and illiterate) “Leader of the conservative cause,” comes out to play
When you get hate mail this impudent (which is just-this-short of a physical threat), you know you’re hitting a raw, shredded, glistening-bloody nerve — which means you know you’re doing something right:
Name: Warren Bigley
email address: warrenbigley@yahoo.com
Message: Yeah it looks like you ran out of false stories to make up about conservatives 2 years ago huh? How would you like to debate? I can come to you or you can come to Ohio and we can have an oldfashioned liberal vs Conservtive debate.But like every other liberal i am sure you are to cowardly to take me up on it.
Warre W Bigley
Leader of the conservative causeREMOTE_ADDR: 75.109.158.119
HTTP_USER_AGENT: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR
2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.0.04506)
DATE: 20:21:32 2008-5-1
If I had any clue as to what you were talking about, “Warre,” I might address it, but since you make no reference to, well, anything, it stands to reason that you’ve been trolling the Internet looking for any good, strong, liberal Americans you haven’t yet smeared. And you found me. Awwwwwww!
Who are you anyway, little boy? Oh, wait, you’re the “Warren W. Bigley” who was put on disciplinary probation by West Virginia University “for issuing a press release as president of a student Republican group the school said was not properly registered,” aren’t you?
No wonder your panties are in a twist, “Warre” — you’re a Mitt Romney supporter, and you’ll never be able to get over the fact that nobody wanted your whacked-out, Dark Ages, gay-hating dog torturer to come within 100 miles of the White House.
“Leader of the conservative cause”? 
How ridiculous you are! If you only knew…! You’re the leader of nothing, “Warre.” You’re a snot-nosed little punk who thinks he can bully everyone else into silence.
Well, guess what, little boy? That may have worked on the playground, but it doesn’t work now. I’ve come up against far more fearsome bullies than you, “Warre,” for longer than you’ve been alive.
And why would I ever want to “debate” a liar who accuses me of making up “false stories”? I would never “debate” you, kiddo, as your style of “debate” would probably entail putting a bullet through my head the moment you realized your tough-guy, banty-cock posturing was crumbling like the Walls of Jericho against my reason and logic. Why would I want to go up against such a whack-job as yourself? You, Romney, the Taliban — you all scare me for the same reason. You sound like a crazed idealogue who is completely and utterly out of control.
By the way, that you were accepted into West Virginia University — or any institution of learning above the third grade — is utterly amazing. Does WVU have an affirmative action program for the terminally illiterate?
Helpful tips:
• Punctuation is your friend.
• In accordance with every manual of style in existence (in English, at least; is English your native language?), we spell out all numbers from one to ten.
• “Old-fashioned” / “old fashioned” is not one word.
• “Conservtive” is spelled “conservative.”
• The word “to” in this case (”i am sure you are to cowardly”) should be spelled “too.”
• The word “i” in the same sentence should be capitalized (”I”).
• Your name is spelled “Warren,” Warren, not “Warre”.
P.S. Your offer to come to California is declined, “Warre.” You are not welcome here. We are a peaceful people, and we don’t want raging, puffed-up, self-important little bigots here. Now, as nicely as I can put it: Get lost, loser, before I report you to your mommy, and she grounds you from using your My First Big-Boy Computer™ for a month.
P.P.S. I hope you enjoyed the attention you got from me, punk. I did it so that if some crackpot hunts me down and kills me, there will be a public record of your nut-ball email for the investigation.
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Filed under: Mitt Romney, Radical Religious Right, Random Bigotry, Random Stupidity, Republicans
