March 7, 2008

Artie Lange: When the Heroin Goes In, the Truth Comes Out

Not, mind you, that we’re saying abrasive “comic” Artie Lange — the abrasive, drug-addled former MADtv cast member, and now one of Howard Stern’s on-air entourage — is back on the smack; but we do wonder if that’s what prompted Lange’s despicable anti-gay tirade on Stern’s show last month.

On the other hand, we’ve heard that heroin is supposed to make a person blissed out, not hostile, so…

Anyway, we’re hearing about the incident only now because we don’t listen to Howard Stern. (The appeal of much pop culture, like “Jackass,” and Hannah Montana, eludes us, which is A-OK, because we’re not perpetually adolescent teenage boys, or little girls. We could ask 100 of our very best friends what “Jackass” is, or who Hannah Montana is, and maybe one might guess the latter was the name of a 1940s-era burlesque stripper.)

Sadly, we do know who Artie Lange is. On the upside, we know him only from MADtv, best remembered, perhaps (with “best” being a truly subjective word), for his title role in the deliberately offensive TV sitcom spoof, “My White Mama.” On the downside, we never knew what a gigantic, flaming asshole he was until the Stern story broke in the gay press.

Sometime after his out-of-control drug habit got him fired from MADtv, Lange started appearing regularly on the Howard Stern show, where, we have learned, Lange has repeatedly dropped the “F-bomb” — not “fuck,” but “faggot” — on the air. (That’s not surprising, as Stern himself says “fag” a lot, or so we’re told.)

Lange’s behavior (hell, Lange himself) would have continued to fly under our radar had he not taken the level of uncivil discourse to a whole new low.

Jenny Stewart of Gay.com/PlanetOut.com tells the story:

A recent on-air clash between popular cast member Artie Lange and show employee “High Pitch” Mike devolved into a vicious, epithet-strewn fight that left both studio members and listeners confused about Lange’s true feelings toward gays.

. . .

In a twist of irony, this word is at the center of the conflict between Lange and Stern show worker “High Pitch” Mike, so named due to his unfortunately falsetto voice. Mike has somehow become Lange’s kryptonite: No other cast member gets under Artie’s skin the way Mike does, and their fights have a distinct high-school mentality — with Lange as the big, popular jock and Mike as his nerd-ish object of ridicule. The catch is that Mike refuses to be bullied — and Lange, despite a wealth of wit and material, ends up relying on the “f-bomb” to shut Mike up (it should be noted that Mike insists he’s straight).

. . .

The discomfort in the studio was already palpable — then this exchange happened:

Mike: Anything you say on here [the air] becomes fact.”

Artie: “No it doesn’t! I wish it did, because [then] people would believe that you’re a fucking flaming homo. And you are a flaming homo, and I hope you get AIDS. I hope your lover takes off the rubber tonight and fucks you in the ass with his AIDS-ridden cock. And that you come in here tomorrow with fucking sores on your face and 40 fucking pounds!”

It was like a switch had been flipped in Artie’s head, and there was no going back. I suspect even he knew it at that point, and he wasn’t going to back down. When a clearly disturbed Stern began asking him why he was so out of control, Lange simply responded, “Mike started it,” and “What, I’m supposed to sit here like a jerk-off?”

Stern treaded lightly, but kept after Lange; he diplomatically said that both Lange and Mike were guilty of saying bad things. And after co-host Robin Quivers reminded Lange about his work with the HRC, Stern added, “Yeah, every minute with the faggot … you’re cutting a public service announcement.”

. . .

“You’re allowed to think someone is gay; that’s not a legal question,” said Stern. “Look, I’m getting very uncomfortable with this fag stuff, I mean, this is silly. If a gay person tuned in and heard that, people would not appreciate it. The rhetoric was getting heavy.”

Invoking the old double standard, Lange denied he was anti-gay, and chalked his tirade up to his not playing well with others — shamefully throwing himself on the “boys will be boys” defense.

More at the link.

An editor’s update to Stewart’s piece notes:

A few days after the fight, Stern addressed it on-air, saying that it sparked a lot of listener e-mail. Stern said some listeners were so offended by Lange’s comments they cancelled their subscription to Sirius, while others wrote in saying they thought Lange’s response to Mike’s provocation was justified. Artie himself said that he received a sad, offended e-mail from George Takei, who also asked him to go ahead with his promised “f-word” public service announcement. …

George Takei? Yep. Notes Stewart:

He [Lange] also maintains an unlikely but genuine friendship with openly gay actor and recurring Stern star George Takei. As his mentor, Takei even convinced Lange to do a public service announcement for gay-equality group the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), pledging $100 for each on-air use of the word “fag.”

In fact, Takei has been trying a long time to get Stern himself to curb his use of the word “fag”.

More power to Mr. Sulu. We wouldn’t have the patience.

Posted by: Sapphocrat